Happy Thanksgiving! I hope this post finds you all well, and super full from a wonderful meal!
Our little family is setting out to find holiday traditions that Olivia can look forward to for years to come. Last night, we drove out to Silver Mountain Resort. We checked in and then spent 2 ½ hours at the waterpark. Olivia had a great time, but it is still a little bigger than what she is ready for. So instead of going back today, we checked out and drove back towards Coeur d’Alene. Once back near home, we went and had breakfast together. Afterwards, we drove to Higgens Point and did a little hiking while watching all the bald eagles. Olivia is so good at spotting them! We headed for home, where I am currently writing this as Olivia naps on Gabe downstairs. I had pre-ordered a meal that we can just heat up this evening, and we are planning to eat and watch a movie together a little later on.
This isn’t what our holidays usually look like. And it certainly isn’t what I expected it would look like even just over summer. But I could no longer ignore the toxicity of a family member that I had previously enabled to poison our lives. And so, where he will be, we cannot be. And this is really hard for myself and our little family. We don’t have much family here as it is, and to purposefully segregate ourselves from the only ones in the area is taking a toll on me this afternoon. However, the lies spewing from this person’s mouth is like lava flowing across the land; unforgiving, terrifying, and quickly destroying all in its path. The untruths are reminiscent of somebody living in an altered reality, yet maybe truly believing the words leaving his tongue. But that doesn’t make them true in the real world. And that doesn’t make the accusations any less dangerous. Our home is one we have fought hard to keep safe, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I will not allow anything that battles that to make a bed here.
So we stay home today, safe with our little family, albeit lonely, but respecting our boundaries and knowing that we are changing things for Olivia and her future. Changing things for the better by helping her to know that she always has a voice. Helping her to know that it doesn’t matter who is saying awful things (family or otherwise), that she will NOT stand for it in her own life and she will set safe boundaries. Also, to help her know that she will not be that person to others. Helping her to know that her boundaries will be respected. Helping her to know that she is loved and safe always; that her parents won’t allow people that may seem benign to the outside world to metastasize and destroy ours. Helping her to know that she always deserves respect and has the right to walk away from anyone and anything that disregards that. Ultimately, helping her to know that she is valuable and worthy, but also responsible for recognizing and respecting these things in others.
So, as we search for new Thanksgiving traditions, I would like to hear some of yours.
And shifting gears a bit, as it is easy to get lost in the sadness of this holiday season, I would like to remind myself, and maybe you, of all that we have to be grateful for. In my life, I am grateful for a loving and supportive husband. I am grateful for an incredible daughter that blesses us every day of our lives. I am grateful for the health of both of them. I am grateful that God has helped me continue to be here every day. I am grateful to my Mom for dropping everything to move here and help us as I continue to fight for my mental health. I am grateful for all my loving and supportive family and friends. I am grateful for the roof over our heads and the heat in this home. I am grateful that this home is a safe sanctuary. I am grateful for our two dogs that protect Olivia (and drive us a little bit crazy). I am grateful for a pantry with food in it. I am grateful that we have income to provide for us, and that we have access to healthcare. I am grateful to live in a place of such beauty with the best neighbors I could ask for. I am grateful for the gospel and the blessings we live out because of it.
What are you thankful for today (and every day)?
