Facebook memories. You know the ones. “On This Day 1 year ago….” Followed by whatever you posted at that time. Who would have known that simple morning scroll would have wrecked me? On Thursday, the 19th, these memories consisted of photos from last year in which Olivia received her first bath and “manicure”. Even writing … Read moreI Never Had a Tiny Infant, So Why Am I Crying?
There were so many “I should” statements standing in my way of getting treatment. Being a provider, I took it to an even higher level; as if, having knowledge would somehow preclude me from suffering PMADs. But that is what my mind told me…. I should be able to do this because I knew better. … Read moreI Shouldn’t Need Help!
I shared this post on Facebook one year ago. “Prayers please. I am being admitted for severe postpartum preeclampsia. I hate being away from Olivia and just want to be healthy and home with our sweet girl.” I remember typing this post as I was waiting for the magnesium bag to start and to get … Read morePostpartum Preeclampsia and PPD Lies
How quickly your mind can put you right back on the bathroom floor, sobbing, hitting your forehead, speaking unkind words to yourself, wondering why, feeling like giving up, and yet, too exhausted to give up. Let me back up a little bit. Olivia’s 1st birthday was on the 7th. I was having a bit of … Read moreTailspin
Dear Gabriel, Happy 35th Birthday, my love. I have so much to say, but really don’t know where to begin. Do you remember how I wished you a happy birthday upon your waking last year? “Happy birthday, babe… I’m in labor,” I told you. “Wait. Seriously?” You had been hoping for a birthday … Read moreA Letter to My Husband
Olivia had such a great time. And, so did I. Which, if you are just joining this journey, might sound silly to include. Of course I had fun. Gabe had fun. Aiden and Natalie had fun. Rachel and Jose had fun. Grandma had fun being up here with us. It was awesome! But I mean, … Read moreHalloween, Covid, and Cartwheels… Oh My!