Update.
May 4th – 8th is Maternal Mental Health Week. I have been posting every day regarding maternal mental health. If you have been reading and sharing my posts, I sincerely thank you. If you missed any of my story, I am posting links at the bottom of this post to all the previous posts. All of these have been made public, so please share, and help us in easing access to treatment by reducing stigma and shame. These posts do discuss mental illness, hospitalization, and suicide.
So where am I now? Well, truthfully, that depends on the day! I am miles away from where I was in January; but am still a ways from where I want to be. I continue with medication and therapy to combat this wicked disorder. But I am hopeful and excited! I never thought this would be possible. I thought I was too far gone. The postpartum period has nearly killed me twice – once with preeclampsia, and then with postpartum depression. I am still here! My life has a purpose, and I am so indebted to the women who have walked this journey before me allowing treatment to happen. That being said, we have work to do! I am working with local women to get a support group going in our region. I am in the application process of becoming a Volunteer Area Coordinator with PSI. I am working on ways to educate the hospitals, staff, and OB offices on recommended screening changes to better identify women in need of treatment. I am working to be a patient ambassador with Sage Therapeutics to help more women know of Zulresso’s availability and gain access to it. It takes a different approach in that it is not a psychotropic drug, and I am really excited about how many lives it will save! I am also working on starting a website that I hope to turn into a nonprofit. But for now, it will be a place for all Moms to blog their perinatal journeys, struggles, and victories. I want to hear and learn from you!! I will update with the web address once I get it finished (I will gladly accept help from any friends that are familiar with website building). And of course, I am looking forward to the day I truly feel like Olivia’s Mommy! I cannot wait to recognize her as my daughter. I know it will happen. There is a bond developing already and that truly brings joy to my heart. In the meantime, I am enjoying my time with her as we grow through this stage of our lives. My world is full of color again!
As always, God is good! I have been able to see His hand in my story so much and am looking forward to blogging about that. From early documentation of my PPD because of the preeclampsia (which allowed approval of Zulresso), to my sister’s connections to North Carolina and former providers at the UNC unit, and everything in between, God carried me. God carried my husband. God carried my family. And he continues to do so. “He took what the enemy meant for evil, and He turned it for good”. But, if you would like to send some prayers this way as I continue to navigate this journey, I will gladly accept!
These photos are from my walk with Olivia today. It wasn’t black and white, but rather sunny and bright! And God sent a little reminder of His love for us all today. 
If I can answer any questions or help in any way, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me. I have an incredible husband and tribe. I know not everybody is so fortunate, so please know I am here to support whoever needs it while walking this path. With treatment, you, too can be well.
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