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I took this photo a couple weeks ago as I was heading out to dinner with friends. After taking a bunch to get that perfect angle where you don’t look so old and tired (let’s be honest!), an acceptable one came about. My thought was that I would put it up on social media after … Read moreSometimes I Get Ready

Life can just be so overwhelming sometimes. And for those of us enduring mental illness, those moments become this struggle in your mind: is what I am feeling normal? Or am I having thoughts indicative of backsliding? I suppose that is normal to be afraid of going back to where I was dragged out of. … Read moreEverything is Overwhelming

Let me preface this by saying that this post should probably have chapters. It is quite long and I apologize in advance. I have been away for a little while and not writing. The first few weeks were because of covid and pneumonia. I was honestly just too sick and exhausted to put my thoughts … Read moreOne Year Later

At this time last year, we were on a red-eye flight to North Carolina. My mind found plenty of creative ways to end everything while on the flights. Mostly I sobbed the entire way, in disbelief that this was my life; that I was seriously flying across the country to admit myself into a perinatal … Read moreRed-eye Reflections

One year ago I typed up this letter in the “notes” on my phone. As you can see, it was nighttime on the 1st of January, 2020. And my mind was done. I wrote this letter and had every intention of leaving it for Gabe the following day. I figured he could give it to … Read moreOn This day — January 1, 2020

I see you, Mama. This year was not what you thought. It wasn’t for me, either. One year ago, you dreamed of all that 2020 would hold. You released the stress of 2019 and hoped for a new dawn in 2020. You desperately reached out for the light that a new chapter would bring. And … Read moreI’m Proud of You

I’m Just So Tired This phrase. I keep thinking it, and sometimes it slips out my mouth. It instantly traumatizes and scares me. And then I think about the impact that statement has on my husband, and my family. That phrase a year ago meant I had nothing left to give to this life. That … Read moreI’m Just So Tired

Let me start by saying that I am no longer in the ER. I was for several hours last night and began writing this post in my mind. My body too tired and taxed from working to breathe, I couldn’t find the energy to type it on my phone as I sat alone in my … Read moreA Letter from the ER

Covid found our household. Gabe woke up sick on the morning of Sunday, December 13th. He seemed to only have a cold, but given that he still goes into work, I sent him to get tested. Out of an abundance of caution, Olivia and I stayed home from church that day and watched remotely. That … Read moreCovid, Quarantine, and PMADs

A Whole Year of Firsts. All those milestones that people look forward to. That first time your tiny newborn can actually make eye contact, holds your finger, smiles, coos. That adorable first laugh, rolling over after you have tried so hard to help your little one figure it out. Sitting up on her own, speaking … Read moreRejoice: A Whole Year of Firsts