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I am really tired, and so I likely will not proofread this – I apologize in advance. I am just typing what is on my heart with no filter.     Olivia has been sick for two weeks. She had a cold, then pink eye and a high fever on top of it, then strep … Read moreSad and Angry

Every year, for as long as I can remember, the time before my birthday is more challenging. I become more depressed, easily agitated, and just overall grumpy. The thought of commemorating a life I had become accustomed to trying to exit has always seemed asinine. I never felt “deserving” of celebration. To me, any type … Read moreBirthday Blues

Trigger Warning: discussion of suicidality, hospitalization This journey is hard, guys. Really hard. And it is long. Perhaps a lifetime. Probably my entire lifetime. I wish there was a reason as to why some of us have chronic illnesses and struggles. I suppose, objectively, that the honor of living also carries the risk of suffering. … Read morePrecipice

NAD and ketamine infusions were a nightmare for me. They were horrific to endure and did not give any of the intended, and desired, results. For many, both of these treatments provide great relief from symptoms of severe depression. Finding stories from patients that did not have a positive experience is nearly impossible, which is … Read moreNAD and Ketamine Infusions

It has been a long hiatus – but I am back! If you are new to my blog, and jumping into the middle of the story, please allow me to start over. And also, welcome. Your thoughts are safe here. If you have been reading for a while, or even intermittently over the last couple … Read moreSuicidality and Me: Allow Me to Introduce Myself

The King wants to be your Valentine. Do you believe this? Do you accept His love? Let me chat with you for a minute. Valentine’s Day can be full of so many different emotions for people in all walks of life. For me, it was never really a thing. I always called it the “Hallmark … Read moreValentine/Freedom/Our King

As I sat down to write this, this beautiful song comes on the radio. I hadn’t ever heard it before, but I tuned in at the following part: You are that God that saves You are the One that rescues me And You rescue me, ohh-oh You are the God that saves And You called … Read moreThe God That Saves

Two years. Two years since we landed in Charlotte, North Carolina and drove to Chapel Hill. Two years since we pulled into the parking garage and I had to swallow the bile rising in my throat. Two years since I followed through on my promise to God (forcing myself out of the vehicle), that if … Read moreTwo Years: Signing Myself into a Psychiatric Unit

Let me preface this by saying that this first part will likely seem just as the title implies; however, if you can stick it through, I promise there is meaning!   I have struggled with OCD my entire life. Not necessarily compulsions, though there has been a bit of that. But the obsessions have always … Read moreOCD Ramblings: The One

Well, here we are again… Coming up on an anniversary of such darkness in my journey. And I have been dreading it. Truly dreading it. But as I sit here pondering the upcoming day, I am filled with peace. I realize that what felt like debilitating darkness, ended up ushering in the greatest light I … Read moreEmbers